MAKE IT HAPPEN SOONER RATHER THAN LATER!!!

I have decided to write a second edition of my book called, --- The Human Mind, only this time I will call it, --- Understanding Human Behavior.

As well as many or most of the ideas contained in the original book, I will be adding more ideas which are intended to prove conclusively that the ideas contained in the first edition, under a different name, are nevertheless, just as relevent as they originally were.

I failed to realize that the inclusion of my previous job as a taxi-driver would leave everyone with the impression that this character is putting forth a pipe-dream that defies reality; when in effect, it actually puts forward a deeper level of truth concerning the manner in which the human mind functions.

I will be including, among other items, the breakdown of the movie called, --- The King's Speech, which will prove once and for all that my theory about distorted and conglomerated fears is the real cause of stammering or stuttering [these last two words are actually synonyms].

On an even more important level, it will show that the above two problems concerning our reactions to fear, not only cause stuttering but can also be used to show why people do the things that they do.

A new world is waiting for the human race to catch up to it.   This book will help make that time shorter.  What more can any one man do --- than that.   

STUTTERING IS NOT A GENETIC DISORDER

Hello:

On May 20,2015 in the Toronto Globe and Mail, in the Life & Arts section on Page L7 an article entitled, --- [Research to shed light on stuttering causes, treatments.] appears.

Unfortunately the article concludes that there is a genetic component to this speech impediment.  The real cause is fear.   Each word that we utter requires a decision on our part and it is the fear of making this decision that causes the stuttering.

Many times the reasons are almost self-evident and the cure is relatively simple but other times it is very complex and it is entirely reasonable that a genetic factor should be looked upon as the cause when other reasons escape us.

A simple cause occurs when a child comes home from playing with his peers and uses the word --- fuck --- and is slapped in the face for using such a vulgar expression.   This happened far more often in the past then it does now-a-days.

Our  permissive society has caused many other problems but it has helped to reduce the incidence of stuttering in many parts of the world.   One way to know that this is happening is if the child begins to stutter when trying to say the words fun, full, furious etc.   

That is, --- any word that begins with the letters fu, because the child becomes afraid that he or she will use the profane word and be slapped again for his or her mistake.  It can even start when he tries to say any word that begins with the letter --- F.

Another problem as the child becomes older is the knowledge that when you are speaking to a group of people you are exposing your brain to the scrutiny of your listeners and this stress can also lead to stuttering.   On a minor scale but still damaging for the speakers emotional health is the nervous speaker who is shaking as they speak.

Obviously there are many reasons to develop a stutter and Josh's problem appears to be rather deeply engrained.   Obviously he is capable of long periods of fluid speech and this fact should indicate that it is not a genetic problem.   If it was it should be happening most of the time or even all of the time, --- but not so infrequently.

So it becomes necessary to determine what stresses and how much of them are responsible for his stuttering.  Keep in mind that the young boy may not be willing, or able to tell you why he stutters.

But a capable investigator can deduce clues from when he stutters and when it started to find the reasons for the stuttering and try to overcome them for the child so afflicted.

The idea that this problem has a genetic component is easily understood when one realizes that we have failed to understand that irrational and distorted reactions to fear can affect the human mind so completely.

   

BE A SEEKER NOT A HIDER

Hello:

A few days ago in one of the local papers a guy had at least 3 women on the go with his "open" marriage.   One of which was the real thing with one or two children.  One of the "other" women wanted to know if she should continue with this situation. 

Here is my answer.

Obviously you do not have a very high opinion of yourself to ask such a question.  Why not try this.  Since he is lying to you about his real intentions, [to obtain as much sex as possible with the least amount of commitment to as many women as possible], tell him that you have two other lovers and see what his reaction is.   Or tell him that you would like to become a Mother and see if he suddenly distances himself from you.   

Rather than waste time with the above two suggestions, I would be more inclined to dump the guy as soon as possible.   When it comes to finding a new man, some of them are more fragile than you might think and they have a tough time with rejection.   

Hold your head up high and find someone who you think would make a good partner and if he seems reluctant to show any interest, step up to the plate yourself and show him that you are interested in him.  If that scenario fails, --- move on to the next best choice until you do succeed.

For those men who have a high level of fear about being rejected, such bold action on your part might be just what is needed to break the ice.   You are much better than you have been giving yourself credit for.  Good luck and do your best to remember this simple fact.  There are too many hiders in this world and not enough seekers.   

CHRISTIAN ETHCIS

Hello:

This paraphrased letter was taken from the Ask Amy column in the Toronto Sun newspaper on Aug. 29/2015.

From Ask Amy:

My husband’s brother and his wife are devout Christians.  Some time ago they asked us if we would allow their daughter to live with us because she was having problems in her home town.   We cheerfully agreed.

At dinner one day I mentioned that I was less than impressed with the church that this girl’s parents attended.   I said that their church was very over-bearing.   Among other things, they have down-sized their home so that they could give more money to their church.

The daughter reported this conversation to her parents and her father informed us that we would be persona non grata unless we apologized for making such a negative comment about their church.

My response

Too bad you did not determine what problems the girl was having in her home town.   If the father’s arrogance is wide-spread and copied by his daughter, perhaps her insistence that others in town abide by her rules for living was the real cause of her problems.

It appears to me that the only way you can have a happy or friendly relationship with your husband’s brother is to allow him to dictate what you think and what decisions you make in your life.   End  this type of behavior by your brother-in-law now, --- rather than later. 

Hopefully your husband will agree with the contents of the letter that I am suggesting that you send to your husband’s brother.  Indeed there might be extenuating circumstances that would indicate that the letter should be toned down slightly, but this is too important to let it slide.   Here is the letter:

Dear Brother-in-Law:

Please accept my apology for telling you the truth.   I also apologize for not seeing through your superficial Christian ethics.   Since we will not cow-tow to your version of Christian behavior, perhaps it would be best if you picked up your daughter from our home as soon as possible.

If that means that you have to tell your church that you must cut back on the amount that you tithe, --- so be it.   If  you wish to apologize to me for your uncalled for behavior then we might still be able to continue to be civil to each other.   

If not, then it will become necessary for us to have no further contact with you or your family in the future.   I hope my version of --- "the truth" --- will not upset your delicate sensibilities.

                                            Your sister-in-law,

 

DISTORRED FEARS CAN CAUSE THOSE FEARS TO COME TRUE.

Hello:

From the "Life" section of the Toronto Star on April 25, 2015; a [condensed] letter sent to Ellie:

I'm 37 and I am seeing a man who is also my age.  He is kind, attentive, doesn't smoke, drink or gamble.   He has a well-paying job and we get along well.  Neither of us have had any previous relationship experience.

After 2 months he asked if he could call me his girlfriend, I said yes but it would also be nice if we kissed each other once in a while.   He said that his insecurity prevents him from doing so.

I no longer feel the original spark.  I look for reasons to avoid him rather than seeing him.  I feel that the chance for romance is over.   At my age, this might be my last chance [to become a mother].

Should I stay or say good bye?

My response:

Here is a perfect example of a fear inside the man's mind helping to make the fear come true.  When he tells you that he doesn't kiss you because he is insecure, --- what he really means is that he is scared of rejection and losing you.  Which is exactly what will happen if he doesn't start being more physical.

You don't tell me why you have not been involved with other men, so that information is necessary if I am to make a better judgement of what should happen next. 

In spite of that lack of knowledge about you in particular, I suggest that the two of you start communicating on a much deeper level than you are at the present time.  

Tell him you are impressed with his good behavior but at the age of 37 you are running out of time to become a mother.  It is time for him to make a move.  Either he shows some emotion and physical attraction for you or you will have to look elsewhere.   

Then say you don't want to look elsewhere but you don't want to continue the way things are going right now either.   Don't be surprised if you do get physically involved and he isn't exactly as "good" as you dreamed he would be.

Give the both of you a chance to know each other intimately before you decide if this is forever or not.   Obviously it is  important to make sure that you will not become pregnant when you are trying to get to know each other better.       

SCAMMERS BE DAMMED!!!

Hello:

I am sure that I should have posted this message a long time ago.  I am not a "scammer."   I think that I can help people with their problems.   That does not mean that I have no problems.  

But it does mean that after 77 years of life, I can give advice in some areas that will prove to be beneficial to you.  If you want perfection, then you are living in the wrong world.  

You can find lots of people who will offer you perfection but it is only because they think that unless they can offer you such perfection, you will not listen to them. 

I have discovered a deeper level of understanding about how the human mind functions.   If I think that such knowledge can help you I will offer it to you without asking you for money.  

If your problem confuses me, I will tell you right away so that you can look elsewhere.  That is as close to the truth as you will get from anyone.   Give me a try; --- you won't regret it.

PLAYING AROUND WITH A "PLAYER"

Hello:

I am paraphrasing this situation from an article in my local newspaper.    A young woman’s girlfriend is living with a guy who is an unabashed,”player.”  The girlfriend asked her if she saw her man with another woman if she would want to know?  The girlfriend said definitely yes.

One night the young woman was out with her boyfriend and saw this “player” holding another woman’s hand at the bar.   As soon as the guy realized he had been seen, --- he promptly left.   Now the girlfriend is wondering if she should tell her friend what she saw.

___________________________________________

My response:

To deal with the truth as accurately as possible,  the girlfriend should have approached the woman at the bar and said the following.   “We don’t know each other but I hope you will believe me when I tell you that I want to do what is best for you and for a girlfriend of mine.”

Let me ask you this.   What did your male friend say was the reason why he left so abruptly?    Whatever way she responds you could then add.   Do you know that he is living with another woman and that most of the time she works while he --- “plays around?”

This behavior is the most straight forward and will probably catch him in a lie to his second female "friend."  It will also make it more likely that his “first” woman who is working to look after him will see  the truth  and react correctly.   If she does not, --- you just might lose a friend and it probably would be in your favor in the long run.    

If this girl does not get away from this loser, his dishonesty will finally catch up with her and it might cause her to have a long lasting depression from the follow up to this guy’s terrible behavior.   Especially if a baby is involved.