Hello:
This paraphrased letter was taken from the Ask Amy column in
the Toronto Sun newspaper on Aug. 29/2015.
From Ask Amy:
My husband’s brother and his wife are devout Christians. Some time ago they asked us if we would allow
their daughter to live with us because she was having problems in her home
town. We cheerfully agreed.
At dinner one day I mentioned that I was less than impressed
with the church that this girl’s parents attended. I said that their church was very over-bearing. Among other things, they have down-sized
their home so that they could give more money to their church.
The daughter reported this conversation to her parents and
her father informed us that we would be persona non grata unless we apologized
for making such a negative comment about their church.
My response
Too bad you did not determine what problems the girl was
having in her home town. If the father’s
arrogance is wide-spread and copied by his daughter, perhaps her insistence
that others in town abide by her rules for living was the real cause of her problems.
It appears to me that the only way you can have a happy or
friendly relationship with your husband’s brother is to allow him to dictate
what you think and what decisions you make in your life. End this type of behavior by your brother-in-law now, --- rather than later.
Hopefully your husband will agree
with the contents of the letter that I am suggesting that you send to your husband’s
brother. Indeed there might be extenuating circumstances that would indicate
that the letter should be toned down slightly, but this is too important to let
it slide. Here is the letter:
Dear Brother-in-Law:
Please accept my apology for telling you the truth. I also apologize for not seeing through your
superficial Christian ethics. Since we
will not cow-tow to your version of Christian behavior, perhaps it would be
best if you picked up your daughter from our home as soon as possible.
If that means that you have to tell your church that you must
cut back on the amount that you tithe, --- so be it. If
you wish to apologize to me for your uncalled for behavior then we
might still be able to continue to be civil to each other.
If not, then it will become necessary for us
to have no further contact with you or your family in the future. I hope my version of --- "the truth" --- will not upset your delicate sensibilities.
Your sister-in-law,
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