MY RESPONSE TO JESSICA

Hello:

I believe from an early age that Jessica became afraid that she would not be able to live up to the incredible image that her father possessed.  That  image included his success as a Doctor, husband and father.

Sometimes one's fears can become so strong, especially if they are in effect for a long period of time, that they almost make it inevitable that the fear will come true. I believe that this is what happened to Jessica.  [Does this also apply to the sucicidal co-pilot who flew his airplane into the alps?]

Jessica's father correctly decided that he would not push his daughter into medicine.  It was up to her to make up her own mind.   Jessica decided that she would not take advantage of the closeness of her father and would think things through for herself.

Both of the above ideas have value but not if they are taken too far.  As per usual in life, moderation is the key.  The idea in Jessica's mind that her father figured everything out for himself and she should do likewise was wrong.

How did she know that her father figured everything out himself?   None of us are an island unto ourselves and to ask for another person's advice or help is essential to ones growth. 

One area where Jessica should have asked for help is when she decided to give her home phone number to her patients whom she had become friends with.  

Rules, such as this one, are not put in place indiscriminately with little or no thought.  They are usually adopted to avoid problems that have occurred in the past. 

Before deciding on her own to put forward this course of action, it was incumbent on Jessica to get her father's opinion on this subject and find out how he handled it himself.

This should not be considered as preferential treatment or bothering someone unnecessarily, this is of the utmost importance to the success of the job that Jessica was trying to succeed at.

Although she does not say the following words out loud, it is obvious that Jessica is thinking about her own life and her desire to find a partner, get married and have a child or children of her own.

This rather obvious conclusion can be gleamed from the words that she chose to express to Po Bronson.  "I've never been on a date."   "The Doctor who had to tell her  daughter to fix her own supper and go to bed without the her help."

"The Doctor who was being sued for 3 million dollars."  "The pregnant nurse who was inadvertently kicked in the stomach by a mother who was experiencing incredible pain in the birthing process." 

That kick resulted in the nurse in question bleeding from her vaginal area and when Jessica learned about this scenario she immediately went into the stairwell and broke down sobbing.

As is our wont to do, we extrapolate such stories into our own lives and the tension became palpable for Jessica.   "If I get married and have a baby, everyday that I work here I will be terrified that something like this will happen to damage or kill my baby."

It was wrong for her father to wait until the last day to give his daughter some advice; suggesting that perhaps she should give up the obstetrics and concentrate only on gynecology.   Although this was good advice, by that time it was simply too late.   

While Po Bronson tried to leave Jessica with some positive thinking about her future, I think the correct advice would be for her to confront her inability to say no to others.  To address her other short comings and if possible, continue to become the Doctor [or gynecologist] that she always wanted to be.

In my humble opinion, that would be her best future to embrace.  It would stop all the  crying and sadness that she currently feels.  Both father and daughter failed to communicate when it was needed.

Not because they just didn't care, but because they thought that they were behaving in the best way; at least until it all fell apart and everybody was left wondering --- why --- why --- why???